I don’t know if every parent at some point struggles with feelings of inadequacy, I know I have.
Recognizing our limitations is painful. This pain is made worse when we label those limitations as inadequacies.
That we all have limitations should be obvious:
We have limitations of ability because of lack of understanding, lack of practice, or physical disability.
We have limitations of understanding because of lack of knowledge, or incorrect knowledge.
We have limitations in our ability to practice because of lack of time, or lack of willpower.
We have limitations of time, because we need to sleep, our lifespans are finite, and we are required to give some of our time in the service of others in order to make money and survive.
We have limitations of willpower because of conflicts with other needs and desires.
Inadequacy implies imperfection or defect. It implies an unsuitability to purpose, likely permanent. Limitation on the other hand, at least as I use the word here, need not be permanent, and need not imply defect, or unsuitability to purpose. Limitations can change or be removed with changes in our ability, changes in the real world, or changes in our perceptions of the world.
Some who hear about Transformative Parenting® dismiss it, believing it to be an impractical form of parenting suitable only for ideal parents, in ideal situations, in an ideal world. This is a mistaken understanding.
Transformative Parenting® is a path taken by real people with real limitations in the real world with real limits. It is a path of discovery, joy, disappointment, struggle and mastery, which involves recognizing feelings of inadequacy and limitation, changing feelings of inadequacy into understanding of limitations, and then confronting those limitations. Some limitations will be found to be real, and others will be conquered. Either way, knowledge, understanding, and compassion; both for ourselves and others, is increased. And our child is raised in an environment conducive to the development of empathy, compassion, and self-confidence.
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